*W0RD V0MiT/}

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forever yours

why won't you be my blue skies,

so i can be your sunshine.

you'll be my horizon,

i'll come to you every night.

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navigations are the fours lines of lyrics. they are profile, entries, tagboard and links.	Sunday, December 13, 2009, 7:22 PM I get so lazy when it comes to my blog. I should really try to update more often. So I never got to share my Thanksgiving list of all the reason I'm thankful for, and honestly, there are a lot of things I am incredibly beyond thankful for. However, I don't have patience to redo that humungo list sitting inside my ipod which is underneath my pillow at home (currently residing at my dad's house). So I really have a few things to share. I haven't been to my dad's house since the end of October. I find that so ridiculous because he only lives 10 minutes away you know? But last month I was so swamped in preparing for the dance performance and school that I just didn't come visit. It makes me feel like a bad daughter almost. Yet, my dad and stepmom are completely understanding and I'm glad for that. I've also had some rocky bumps with relationships lately. Not romantically- I mean any relationship. I think that I take the relationships that I know the best the most forgranted because I know it's always there. I forget that I have to nurture and care for it just as much as I have to for a new relationship. And another thing is that sometimes relationships just don't grow or they stop growing. Then I feel like I'm at a stalement, not quite sure what to do. But I will continue to pursue my friendships and such until I'm finally at a broken point because I don't think I'd ever want to take anything forgranted. Well, I think today's post revolves around a lot of things. Humans act on impulse. Human behavior is unpredictable. I just wonder so much why this is. It sounds like a stupid question, but wouldn't the world be so much easier if everyone just thought logically? But then that would make for a pretty boring world, too. I guess what I'm saying is that relationships become complicated because of impulse and unpredictability. Honestly, what makes more sense- a stable, loving relationship or some impulsive, but attractive fling? Yeah when you say it outloud, the choice may be obvious, but when you're caught in the decision- things are different. I just wonder about human logic a lot. Maybe becoming a psychologist and being able to the study the brain was meant for me after all, haha. Another thing pertaining to myself really. I went back through a lot of my chat histories, old writings, notes in my ipod, and even photos. I've realized that not only have I changed through looks (mainly hair, lol) but my beliefs have changed. I'm learning right now, this very second. I'm learning something called control. But that's not the point. The point is that because of the new friendships I've made- I've changed just a little bit. I think I'm no longer as affected by other people as I once was. And I think that I'm finally satisfied with who I am. I am okay with being imperfect. I am okay with a lot of things. I've realized that I don't need to make excuses for myself or for other people. If I don't want something, then it's done. I can't be weak all the time. I can't rely on other people always because the people you rely on, rely on others as well. Sometimes you just gotta stand up and learn for yourself. So Christmas is nearing. I think this is going to be a memorable one. I'm very much into the Christmas spirit. I don't care so much for gifts or anything anymore. I remember this time last year I was off spending some $200 on gifts for my friends. But this year, I want to be thoughtful with my gifts. I don't want to buy everyone those little Bath&Body Works sets that everyone gets. I don't want or expect anything for Christmas. Actually, no- I expect something. I expect that this Christmas I will learn something. I've always believed that God has some big lesson in stored for each and every person. I believe that this lesson is always different. But I believe that God will share this lesson with each person one day. One last thing to share. In class, we did this Post-Secret thing for lang. I've known about Post-Secret for about two years now. It's an amazing project. After everyone in my class turned in their cards and my teacher made a wall, I came to realize that 90% of the cards dealt with romantic love or best friends or a mixture of both. My first gut reaction was this- how can a group of 15, 16, and 17 year olds think that they know what love is? Love shouldn't be taken so lightly. When you give it away, you can't take it back. I honestly believe that people overuse and abuse this term so much. I myself say I love you a lot. But I say it to friends and yes I indeed DO love my friends- in a friend way. Romantically, not so much. I think this term is something very precious. If I asked for a definition, eveyone would have a different view of it probably. If this one word is so powerful, why is it so overused and abused? This post was filled with my million rants and things I've been thinking about lately, haha. Well, Christmas is near. Good luck to everyone on their upcoming finals/midterms (whatever you guys call them). Keep warm and take care. Remember that the little things in life are the ones that we take forgranted the most. So everyone once in a while, just step back. I know that everyone is always about the 'big picture.' But once in a while, just look at the little details that make up the big picture because without them- there would be no big picture anyways.		thedeceptionist Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissm wouldn't hurt. Don't worry about my name. Don't worry about what I look like. Don't worry about how old I am. Just worry about who I am.		partnersincrime postsecret yaymonday magazinejunkie boingboing wheni'mgone + May 2009 + July 2009 + August 2009 + September 2009 + October 2009 + November 2009 + December 2009 takeabow Edited and re-coded by Jenny (me). An accidentality production Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D		theventingmachine